Balance of Food

I hope I speak for all the members of the Brazen Sandwich Hall of Fame when I say thanks to ESPN and its family of networks for showing the "Alka Seltzer U.S. Open of Competitive Eating" over the weekend. Sponsored by the International Federation of Competitive Eating, the networks have been showing the competition from Las Vegas. Clearly, the star of the show was Takeru Kobayashi, known for his Nathan's hot dog eating heroics in years past. Kobayashi won the crown and earned $10,000 and the coveted crystal Alka-Seltzer Cup. Sonya "The Black Widow" Thomas placed second. Amazingly, the major players, like Kobayashi, don't weigh too much. Kobayashi is reportedly 144 lbs. Kobayashi set the record for spaghetti eating with 13 lbs., 8 oz. in 14 minutes. This is even more amazing when you consider that he was taunted in the beginning and didn't start eating until 40 seconds into the match. He would twirl a sizable amount of spaghetti to begin each plate, then shoveled the remainder into his mouth. Each 2 lb. plate was designed to be 20 oz. of spaghetti and 12 oz. of Bolognese sauce. Along with a tablespoon of Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese and a tablespoon of basil, it looked rather tasty on TV. Eating almost 7 plates of that in 14 minutes may not sound good. One of the commentators described Kobayashi 's swallowing as "beautiful." The first four rounds in the single-elimination tournament were cheese fries, spaghetti Bolognese, chopped Italian salad, and finally, potato skins. The final round was a 6 pound tailgate platter composed of various appetizers in 15 minutes. Some rounds allowed hands, others were utensils only. It was a cross between the Food Network, the Olympics, and MTV. Some of the contestants wore "chew-view cams" so we could see the food from the participant's vantage point. The telecasts featured brief bios of some of the competitors. Otherwise, you're watching strangers eating obscene amounts of food. Many competitors say they prepare by eating once a day but eating a large amount. The oddest phrase of the tournament is what the players call a "reversal of fortune." Essentially, it means throwing up.