Balance of Food

Are you looking for a high-protein sandwich in this low-carb era? Well, there’s a new controversial fast-food burger guaranteed to supply you with lots of protein. As part of its ongoing Thickburger series, Hardee's recently introduced the Monster Thickburger. The sandwich contains two 1/3-pound Angus beef patties, four strips of bacon, three slices of cheese and mayonnaise on a buttered sesame seed bun. It weighs in at 1,420 calories and 107 grams of fat. The MonsterBurger measures 5 inches in diameter and 2 3/4 in. tall (without lettuce, onion, and tomato). For those who are watching their calorie intake, think of the Monster Burger as one more, albeit yummy, temptation. The contestants on "The Biggest Loser" had large tables filled with stronger temptations than any Monster Burger. The beauty of being an American is that we have the right to have a "Monster Burger", even if we never order it. Just because the burger exists doesn’t mean you have to order it. And we shouldn’t stop people from ordering it; doing so feels un-American. And after all, a fast-food burger is about as American as you can get. The backlash to the Monster Burger has been intense. The Center for Science in the Public Interest, a Washington-based advocate for nutrition and health, dubbed the Thickburgers "food porn" and the Monster Burger "the fast-food equivalent of a snuff film." The New York Times actually took time out from the world’s many problems to write an editorial on the burger, calling it “an artery-clogging mountain” and “quite possibly one of the most lethal pieces of food out there.” It's fascinating to watch Hardee's critics attack the company for marketing the MonsterBurger. The ThickBurgers have been around for awhile without much of a peep, much less getting press from The New York Times. The MonsterBurger was created in the hopes of generating massive publicity. If the enticement is too strong, and you absolutely have to eat a Monster Thickburger, here are some ways to get through the experience without having a team of paramedics ready at the scene:

The Monster Burger is low-carb. Given its cascade of protein, the major carb to the sandwich is the bun. You get protein from the beef, bacon, and cheese. Why let all that bread get in the way of the wonderful array of protein? Don’t worry about the carbs. Maybe the problem is that there’s too much protein and not enough carbs. Simple: bring extra bread with you and split the burgers between the set of buns. That way, it looks like two huge sandwiches instead of one gigantic sandwich. You could share it with a friend. Admittedly, if you divide it in half, you only get 710 calories and 53.5 grams of fat. But you can make up for that deficit by adding on high-fat French fries and a high-calorie soft drink, or even a milkshake. Be sure and do it with a good friend, since each of you will eventually claim that you ate it all by yourself. You could eat half and save half. When you tell your friends you ate the whole thing, you don’t have to say how many meals it took to finish it. And you don’t have to worry about your friend ratting you out. Have just one meal that day. Sure the burger is a lot of calories, but if it is the only thing you eat all day, you’re doing pretty good. The burger is a symbol of ideal decadence. For those on the "pig out one day a week" diet, the Monster Burger is a great way to celebrate your one day to eat. Sure you could have a couple slices of pizza, but they might even have vegetables on it. You could eat it with a knife and fork. The beauty of the fast food restaurant is the lack of utensils. Having a knife and fork could ruin the experience. But given the amount of food, a knife and fork might be appropriate. The meal will feel more civilized, and after all, the Monster Burger is a dining experience. Reduce the fat. As sacrilegious as this may sound, you could order the sandwich without cheese and mayonnaise. The burger with only bacon would have a lot less fat, and be more manageable to eat. And you might even have room for a salad.